Bobbi
If you’re trying to save a relationship after breaking up with your boyfriend or husband, you will eventually look back to figure out where you went wrong. You may realize that there were some issues you were avoiding as you were trying to save the relationship. As your flashbacks and memory return, you might think to yourself “I can’t believe i/he did that,” or “How could I have been so blind and stupid.”
Yes, love is strange and we can sometimes turn a blind eye and pretend we don’t see that are life is about to collapse. By ignoring negative issues, we end up damaging the relationship and ourselves further. The question “What if…?” Will keep bugging you for months to come.
“What if we had just stayed as friends and never became lovers?”
“What if we went our separate ways before we did irreparable damage to both of us?”
“What if I chose to face and confront problems I had with my ex instead of pretending it will eventually go away, then we could have fixed our relationship before it was too late?”
Trying to save a relationship should not mean that you must ignore the red flags or avoid facing reality. It helps to open your eyes to see the truth right in front of you. It is also important to love yourself before trying to put more importance into saving your partnership.
By addressing the deeper issues that you tried to keep buried under the rug, you might be able to make the relationship work. It is said that presumption is the mother of all screw ups. Here are some realities that you should bring out to the open when trying to save a relationship. Maybe these will help you solve your relationship problems or at least, minimize the pain of regret months after the split. No more “what ifs…”
Growing Apart And Change
“Opposites attract” doesn’t work. Most people mistake this as complementing each other or the other filling what is lacking in ourselves. Expectations like these are common for couples who marry young or hook up in committed relationships before they truly know themselves.
As young people, we still need to do a lot of growing up. Growth also leads to change. It is a normal process as one matures. The challenge here lies in helping each other grow individually without losing ourselves in the process. Allow yourself to become the mature, older adult you were meant to be.
Once both partners morph into your older, more mature, and independent versions; will you still recognize yourself or your partner after 7 or 15 years? Or will you wake up one day and wonder “Is this the guy I fell in love with 7 years ago?”
If you find that you still like each other then you will be one of the lucky few who end up staying together. What if…you realize that you can’t stand the person you live with any longer? Some couples survive this ride, some don’t.
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